Oh my. It’s been a day. One thing you don’t want to see is your child crying when you enter their room in the morning. Gray had a restless night and began to feel nauseous from all her meds. She was sick to her stomach and feeling awful. Her sore throat continued all day as well. We think it’s because of her feeding tube that winds down her throat. Tomorrow this should come out. As well as her smaller, more recent chest tube(painful)!!! She is eating more… bites of a Frosty from Wendy’s, a roll with butter, planet smoothie, macaroni and… WATER! She has never loved water so much as she did today. Because water is so thin, it is very dangerous to swallow for fear it will go down the wrong pipe. But today baby, was water day. Wahooo! We didn’t see many smiles today at all. She walked down the hall, rested there and then her pain began. We wheeled her back to her room. She amazes us even through these great trials she faces. We heard more of the same today through tears- how she wants to go home and sit in her spot at the kitchen island, sleep in her bed, sing on her stage in the playroom, lay on the sofa in the family room. It breaks my heart. We spent the last part of the day reading her entries from the guestbook and worshiping together through singing and music. She closed her eyes as we sang and drifted off to sleep. She held me close tonight when I lifted her back to bed. She whispered in my ear, don’t leave, I love it when you’re here, mommy. I rested my head on her shoulder and through my mask, kissed her like a momma does. I got as close as I possibly could and loved on her while balancing on one knee, being careful not to hurt her. As hard as it is to leave, we did. When Kris and I got in the car, I shared my heart about our boys. I miss them terribly and it’s killing me not to have our family together. I spoke of our youngest son, Brooks, and my concerns for both the boys being separated from us for this long. Just then I pulled up an email from our 11-year-old son, Cole. I started reading and began weeping. Kris took my phone and read it as I sat in the passenger seat sobbing. I couldn’t control myself. Here is what he sent me…

*Hi mom, it’s Cole. I love you so much! I am trying my best to get my homework done and make you pleased. I know that what’s going on is hard for u as the mother and all, but this is also very very hard for me too. I miss your gentle voice in the morning waking me up, or the delicious smell of your homemade scrambled eggs, or the Good Morning song you sing to us. Sometimes during school, I find myself day dreaming about you coming to pick me up and taking me to Gainesville with you and dad and spending quality time with my precious family. Over the last couple weeks I have been so touched by my sister’s preaching’s. She’s making me realize that God is the only one who can heal her and make her feel better. She is truly in God’s mighty arms. Momma, it could take a while, but I don’t care as long as my sister comes home safe and sound. I just finished writing a letter to Gracyn, and I felt led to write one to you. Well mom the point of this letter is to let you know that i’m praying and love you guys so much. I’m getting a little teary eyed as I write this but it doesn’t matter because I love you and always will. Momma, have a great night and I hope you really like this letter. You are my role model and hero. I LOVE YOU!!

I love you, Cubby

As I look at it again, I become emotional. I can’t describe what this feels like… One child clinging to life with the help of a miraculous machine; and two sweet boys trying to go on as if everything is fine. Ouch! Many of you have asked how I’m holding up, well today has been rough. I’m tired and weary. Tending to Gray, but terribly missing my boys. I’ve asked the Lord to strengthen me. Dear Father, my strength, I love you. You truly are my Rock, my fortress, my Deliverer, my God. Strengthen me, Father, as I wait upon you, for I realize that it is you who girds me with strength, and you make my way perfect, as well. Thank you, Father, for all the promises of your Word. I need your strength, so please strengthen me according to your Word. I love you, Robin We love you all and thank you again for all you are doing. Continue to pray for: *Gray’s mental/physical health. – blood coagulation balance!! NO INFECTION!!!! *Our emotional health * The perfect heart in God’s perfect time *Our ability to wait upon Him, without question You can’t know what a difference you’re making in our lives. THANKYOU!!